Beauty in Imperfections

The Journey

When I was a sick little girl my grandpa told me something that has stuck with me, not only in name, but deep in my soul.

He said, “Sara, when people look at you, they see you as weak and frail. But you’re my little pine knot.” He continued, “Did you know that people see pine knots as imperfections? They think the knots weaken the wood as a whole when they are actually the strongest part. And so, Sara, you may struggle physically but your strength is boundless.”

Today I counted 27. Twenty-seven surgical pine knot scars covering my body. Although, you won’t see them because I’m not proud of them. I’m proud of me! I don’t need to bare my scars to remember my trials. My memories are strong enough that I don’t forget. Those thoughts build pride in me and in the God, that strengthens me.

So, as I sit here ready to ring in the new year, I can’t help but think of the scars this year (or years) have left on myself and others. These imperfections may create a feeling of worthlessness. It may seem easy to imagine that these blemishes define and hinder you. However, what if the narrative is changed? Imagine that scars aren’t the focus. Suppose that the attention is on the survival journey. With this shift in viewpoint, what could these tally marks now symbolize?

I couldn’t help but add this. While I was reading through my draft, I found this at the bottom of my notes. How sweet is she?

~Hopefully someday you’ll see this, mom. I am proud of you, too. I’m proud of how hard you work. I’m proud of how much you love me. I’m proud of how far you’ve come. And last of all I’m proud to be YOUR daughter and no one else’s.

-Claire

Inspired Designs

After months of researching furniture for our dining room, I was struggling to find shelves within my style and budget. I was about to resign to the idea that I wouldn’t have dining shelves or I’d have to up what I was willing to spend. As I was heading home with my mother-in-law, I saw these along the side of the road. I quickly stopped to check them out. Of course, Grace just shook her head and laughed because this was typical “Sara” behavior. Could they work? Would they fit? They were in rough shape. But, maybe that was the attraction. Perhaps I am drawn to broken and scarred items because I feel that way sometimes, too. However, I rarely feel that anything is beyond beautification.

Furniture Inspiration

The structural shape resembled my inspiration furniture pieces close enough that I went home to measure. Although the shelves seemed a little wide for the space, I thought I might be able to make it work. Perhaps I could mask the overhang at the window by installing drapes.

The longer the shelves sat in the dining room, the more I debated how to proceed. Should I leave them in their original state and only make minimal changes like painting the tarnished areas?

The notion of keeping them in their initial form quickly came to a halt. I did a completely rookie move. Being new to resin, I thought that I could make some cool pieces for a mobile at our schools. I used puddy to create a shape and poured the resin over feathers directly onto the glass. I don’t really know why I thought that the resin wouldn’t stick to glass. Well, here’s the thing with mistakes. You can focus on them or make the most out of them. This big whoops forced me to get new glass (which was one of my hold ups for not making them narrower).

Luckily for me, my step-brother, Jon, is a welder. He very kindly agreed to come over and cut down the side bars. Next, I sanded the framing so that paint would adhere.

I wanted to keep the look of the top and lower boxes. But, the the current ones were now too big and made of cheap laminate. So, I purchased and cut wood boards (and, yes, they had some imperfect and strong knots~wink, wink). Then, I stained it an ebony color. Lastly, the boxes were built and installed. These not only look great but add some much needed utilitarian storage.

With the total cost of each upgraded shelving unit coming in around $300, I definitely made my budget work while staying true to my design style. What do you think? Is there beauty in imperfections?

Washing Out The Negative